? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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