this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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