1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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