My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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