I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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