that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
