i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She just used a chaser for red wine.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
