If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
