At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Fuck appropriateness.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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