i barfeds in our rink
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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