he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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