so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
