Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
