I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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