so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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