My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i out mim tonsoeep
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