I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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