I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
