so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
