I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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