Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
