We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
