Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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