he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
