you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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