You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
