That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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