Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
