Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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