you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
