1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
