he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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