Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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