my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize