Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
