either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i would punch a child for taco bell
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize