...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
