He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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