Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I am one with the molecules
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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