I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize