If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
