Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
