You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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