Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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