she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
