I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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