remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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