you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
