That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize