Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize