I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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