she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Randomize
