k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
