I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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