i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
