Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize