I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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