I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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