grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize