Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
