This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
