We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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