The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You made out with two different species that night
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
