I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize