I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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